Ignorance is pride are a dangerous combination. Too often we look at certain things in life with unwarranted prejudice. We hate, not for what something is, but for reasons  which this inanimate object cannot control; the minivan.

Before we can truly understand the benefits of the minivan, I think we need to dive into the unappealing aesthetics of the vehicle itself and those who own one. Sure, it’s bulky, not aerodynamic, won’t turn any heads and handles like a boat, but you’re moving precious cargo. Your only job at that point in time is to transport your family from point A to point B with all of the shit your daughter needs. Not only is this thing the complete opposite of cool, but the people driving them look like their fashion sense is a snapshot of what was less than cool was 15 years ago. Let’s be honest though, you’re married and have at least one kid, you’re not exactly attracting anything but an extra 20 pounds on the gut and a receding hairline anyways. If you’re worried about how you look in a minivan, you should be more worried about what you see in the mirror.

It’s true that you’ll never be cool driving a minivan, but you will be is more relaxed. First of all, the thing is made for families. That bulky ass stroller you’re lugging around’s going to fit nicely in the trunk. If you’re lucky enough to have a power lift gate, you can have that sucker on its way up, so that you’re ready to fold that sumbitch and throw it in the back in one fell swoop. Now, you have baby in hand and are ready to throw her into the back, but you realize that the asian lady parked awfully close to you, leaving you barely enough room for you to jump into the passenger seat. Luckily the backseats have sliding doors, so all you need to do is get the door open and you have plenty of lateral space. With an SUV, you’d have to enter from the other side and if you just happened to be parked between two asian women, you’d have to back the whole car out before baby would be able to get locked in. What happens if you’re alone, what are you going to do? You cant leave baby in the car seat in the parking lot while you back the car out and you definitely don’t want to be anywhere near your parking lot neighbors as they attempt to drive off unless you’re an adrenaline junky.

Yes, an SUV does look cooler, but a minivan will reduce your stress level and anxiety. Automatic sliding doors, vast amounts of cargo space and features that are tailored towards families make minivans the better choice. Your life is already going to be exponentially more difficult, you don’t need your car to add to it.

2 thoughts on “Unfair

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