No Sleep for Anyone

You’ve learned a great deal about your baby and her habits over the past 4 months. You’ve even fallen into a groove where you get to talk some shit. People always say that it’s hard, but they’re all just terrible parents and people. Then it hits you. She becomes a stage fiver. You can’t put her down for naps without a huge argument. She’s tired, but won’t fucking lay down. You and her are exhausted, but she decides she wants to wake up at 3 in the morning just to fuck with you and your sanity. You thought you knew what to do, but now your RSA token has just given you a new access code and you can’t see the numbers.

It’s truly is a struggle, but now all of the little things you’ve been able to get away with, like stay out a little bit later before bed time or extending her time between naps during the day are no longer acceptable. As soon as she raises her hands to rub her eyes, you better be on your way to putting her ass down. You’re going from college to the NFL. The players are bigger, faster, stronger and the windows are smaller. If you miss that window, you’re throwing a pick and you get to watch as the douche bag high steps his way to 6. Don’t miss that window.

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